Mini-fiction by John Iwaniec aka taxigringo

Monday, May 04, 2009

START WITH SOMETHING by John Iwaniec

John looked at the communists as they jumped off the roaring helicopter. They were fully loaded with combat gear and automatic weapons. It was too late to hide as the flood lights from the chopper made him visible to all. The commie's intentions were unmistakable.

John took preemptive action with his puny 22 caliber pistol by shooting at one fifty feet away. Except for a lucky shot, only an expert marksman could have hit the moving target with a handgun: John was such an expert, and besides, he was lucky.
Vastly out numbered and out gunned he continued to take out the enemy until his pistol was empty. The fire power of the remaining commie's boomed in his ears.

Somehow he made it to the house unharmed just in time to wake from what was a dream. He could still hear the roar of the helicopter and machine guns only it was Dave snoring in the living room. Just as in the dream John decided to take preemptive action. Picking up the slingshot from the mantel and a garbanzo bean from the cupboard he took aim at Dave's left nostril. At that instant, Dave woke.

"What are you doing with that sling shot?" Dave demanded.
"This?" John, who could not tell a lie, stalled and deliberated on how to answer. "You might say I'm...I'm wondering what would happen if I shot a garbanzo bean up your nostril." Dave studied his roommate whom he knew to be off his noodle at times.

John laughed. "Don’t worry Dave; I wouldn’t shoot you hard.
”Dave shook his head and stood up. "It might be the last thing you wonder about. You make any coffee?
"John answered, "Yes, I made some yesterday and the day before. Maybe someone will make some today."
Dave did not enjoy waking up to verbal combat. He ignored the challenge and took care of his personal business. Once the coffee was made the two rivals became more convivial. They pinched pennies by making beans and rice their primary staple, but when it came to coffee no expense was spared. It was probably a wise decision as the heightened pleasure of premium coffee had a civilizing effect on the two cabbies who would otherwise fit right in with cave dwellers of another time. The two meditated over their caffeine ambrosia, and Dave opened up. "Do you remember that job we had as janitors at NASA? That was a good job. We'd still be working there if you would have remembered that it was your turn to bring the bottle."

John scratched his thinning hair and wondered what would follow that cheesy remark? He replied cautiously, "You got me there. That was a good job. On the other hand, we'd probably be living in a gutter by now if we hadn't got fired and gone to rehab."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I tell you John, we have got to do something to get out of this business. We're too old to be driving cabs eighty hours a week."

John put down his coffee cup and nodded in solemn agreement. "So what do you have in mind brother Dave?"
He waited until he was satisfied that he had all of John's attention. "You know how we always say it is best to stick with what you know? I figure we know a lot. We could start an internet Blog and write about booze and rocket fuel, coffee and beans, trucks and taxicabs and war."

John set down the cup of coffee he had just picked up. "Splendid! And, maybe, you can write the first article on how in blazes we're going to make a dime writing stories on a Blog."

"You don't understand. We get a bunch of people to read our stuff, just like a column in a newspaper, and we sell advertising. Do you realize that Yahoo gets ten cents a hit from people that advertise with them. Figure ten advertisers at a thousand hits a day and..." Dave stared up as he worked the numbers. John was also looking up in wonderment as the numbers began to resemble dollar signs.

John thought out loud. "I think you might be on to something. What the heck, we could even make up stuff. This could be the beginning of something big."

And so begins the Taxigringo.blogspot.com blog

Next installment Wed. May 7, 2009