HIGH by Taxigringo January 06, 2007

At thirty thousand feet over the desert of New Mexico John was fighting the bad guys in the cavernous bay of a C-5 cargo plane. Normally he would just beat them up and move on to his next adventure, but this time he wasn't feeling so well, and there were just too many of them. Whomp! A big fist caught John right in the bread basket and from there things went bad. The bad guys tossed him out the back door of the plane.At a rate of 9.8 meters per second squared he fell toward the town of Roswell. Things didn't look good, and to make matters worse his belly still hurt. Rolling into a ball like a pill bug his fall increased from 120 mph to 180 miles per hour. At least it was getting him out of the thin, freezing air.At 10,000 feet the temperature warmed to a comfortable 70 degrees. Discomfort or no discomfort John realized that he had better think of something quick if he was going to live to have another adventure.He noticed a house with a large swimming pool. Yes, he would go into a spread eagle position and wind surf to the pool. Sadly, his problems weren't over.At 1000 feet a flock of Canadian Geese intercepted his landing vector. As you might fear, a large goose smacked his face and knocked him unconscious. Was this the end? Things sure didn't look good.Down below a twenty-nine year old blonde by the name of Roxxi happened to be looking upwards. When she saw John hurtling like a meteor toward her newly remodeled home she gasped and quickly willed a prayer. Meanwhile John's ornithilogical collision had redirected his landing from the swimming pool to the driveway. He must have done something good in his lifetime for he crashed onto an industrial strength trampoline. High and back into the sky he bounced and over the house only to splash gently into Roxxi's swimming pool.The tepid water had brought our hero back to his senses. Slowly he rose out of the pool still holding his stomach before a much amazed Roxxi."Are you hurt?" She asked."Yes, my stomach has been bothering me all day. Do you suppose I could have a drink?"Moments later Roxxi placed placed a half full glass of Chivas Regal in his hand. "See if this will make you feel any better." It did, and John's next adventure was about to begin.