LONELY GUY by John Iwaniec

I must be some kind of lonely guy. Just so I wouldn’t be alone I left some breadcrumbs on the kitchen counter for the tiny yellow ants that share my apartment. The ants are so tiny that a company of them can live on a breadcrumb for a week.

Not too long ago I was enjoying a cup of my ten dollar a pound double French Roast coffee. So I got to thinking about my imaginary pet. Some people have an imaginary friend; I have an imaginary pet, a two foot long cockroach that I call Knorge. It seemed only proper to leave out some of the coffee for Knorge. It is the way that I would want to be treated if I was an overgrown cockroach.

It is surprising how even the lowliest creatures respond to a little kindness. Knorge is considerate and doesn't leave a mess like most roommates. He uses the toilet just like humans. Only thing is, he also drinks out of it. Well, what of it. Even high bred dogs will do that.

Lately I noticed that Knorge has a problem. He hides under the couch when family or friends come over. I’ve discussed it with him and he finally blurted out, “Everybody hates me. They despise me. I wish I was dead.“ I was not only surprised that Knorge could speak but especially that he was so sensitive to rejection.

Now I care about Knorge, but I’ve got to have a life too and have to make a living like most of you. I drive a big truck and am away for two weeks at a time. It sure feels good when I come home and crawl into a real bed. Last week I was on home time and slept like a baby until I woke up with Knorge wrapped up at my feet. I jerked and kicked my legs. It broke his left antennae. Man, was he down. He was convinced that the only person he trusted had turned on him. He wouldn’t even talk about it with me.

What could I do? What would you have done? I told him that he had to get used to reality. He said nothing. It looked like tears where falling from his bulging eyes.

“Look Knorge, God made you the way you are for a reason. You are a fine creature and it is not you that people reject but a conditioned association in their mind. I don’t know how to help that, and the fact that you always have your guard up doesn’t let people see the good side of you.”
With one of his six feet he wiped his eye. I was getting somewhere. “God made you a beautiful creature and somehow, somewhere in this grand universe someone sees you as beautiful.”

Poor Knorge was sniffling. I began to realize that if a person, even a cockroach, gets enough rejection it can downright kill him.

Little by little he loosened up and began to realize that he had a God given right to live and that God saw him as he really was and had a special plan for him. The people who hated him really didn’t hate him, because they didn’t even know him. They hated something in their imagination. Knorge did not have to let this be his problem.

I want to tell you that from that point on Knorge presented himself to company and his new confidence allowed people to see his true self for the beautiful creature he is.

Sadly this is not the case. Though Knorge now stays in the room when company comes they look past him as if they don’t even see him.