SERIOUS

It has been almost seven years since I died. Though I no longer inhabited my body the biological tissue was still functioning. It continued to be animated by neural networks of the brain and appetites of the body. Most people saw nothing unusual in the automatic responses except a very flat personality. From a remote spiritual vantage point I longed to repossess that aging protoplasmic body. I had a desire to be with loved ones and wanted to make reparations to people I had done wrong.

It began to occur to me that I could still motivate actions in that body, though, only in a remote way. One day I came up with a splendid idea. It involved getting the body to listen to comedy tapes by Rodney Dangerfield. Yes, he had a fine personality for a body in such a situation. More and more the body I once inhabited took on the personality of Rodney. I confess that I was having a lot of fun with it.

A day came when my little one of eight years of age said, "Daddy, why do you always talk so crazy?"

I took her home and showed her the Rodney Dangerfield audio cassette. Looking at the cover picture she said, "Daddy, he looks just like you." I wasn't flattered. When I played the tape she added, "Daddy, he talks just like you." This time I took it as a compliment.

Rodney has since passed on, and I have not been the same since. My face has become sullen and deadpan. My body doesn’t want to move. My friends don’t call me anymore.

I’ve been thinking about searching for another personality, but it makes me feel like a ghoul. Maybe I'll just try work with my original self and see what I can do with it.

I've really tried, but I tell you, nobody takes me serious, and I still don‘t get no respect!